


Seven Oreo Blizzards

by PurpleGentian



Category: Magic: The Gathering (Card Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-29 21:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21416596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleGentian/pseuds/PurpleGentian
Summary: Chandra and Nissa do some cool stuff for three-and-a-quarter pages. I don't have a quippy metalore for this one.
Relationships: Chandra Nalaar/Nissa Revane
Kudos: 7





	Seven Oreo Blizzards

“Hey, Nissa.”

Chandra's voice was soft, like the pillow she laid her head on. It was three in the goddamn morning, but her partner – Nissa – would have to run to Walgreen's on her way to a local games store in order to get some medication to help ease the Pyromancer's perpetual restlessness.

Nissa croaked, sounding almost like a toad, “Yeah?”

All Chandra did was poke Nissa's nose, “Boop.” Perhaps, in an alternate universe, this would have been appropriate. However, Chandra and Nissa already spent the entire night speedrunning Crash Bandicoot 1. This was a project of theirs which they had been saving their paychecks – Chandra's from Radio Shack, and Nissa's from a law firm – in order to get the proper Japanese PlayStation 1 in order to get world record. Unfortunately, this was not the alternate universe in which they got world record. They got close, though!

Basically, Nissa was tired. She tried to close her eyes. Everything smelled like fire. This would have been fine normally, but she had tried to stop the smoke detector from going off in their bedroom. The smoke detector going off artificially inflated the number of speedrun attempts which they had attempted tonight. Nissa's head was pounding; she could still hear the sound of the smoke detector going off.

Chandra booped Nissa's nose again. Nissa snarled, trying desperately to sound intimidating like a bear. The attempt failed, because she also had to stifle some laughter. Chandra ruffled some of the Elf's short hair.

“Look, Chandra. It was funny the first time, but I gotta get some sleep.” Nissa's tone was stern. She inhaled as she spoke, trying to communicate the fact now was a bad time to do playful flirting. They both had to attend a local Friday Night Magic tournament. Nissa arguably was the better player, but Chandra always had a trick up her sleeve. 

“We got this. Besides, sometimes I throw a match and then get us some Blizzards,” Chandra tried soothing Nissa. She always got anxious about playing Standard; who wouldn't, in her shoes she was not wearing to bed because who the heck does that, am I right? 

Nissa paused, then nodded off to sleep. Their conversations at three in the goddamn morning always ended abruptly. 

-

Nissa awoke groggily. She smelled the air, and saw that Chandra was making waffles while wearing a donkey fursuit. Unsure of the thematic significance of this, the Worldspeaker rubbed her eyes in disbelief at what she was envisioning.

“...since when did you buy that?”

Chandra turned to Nissa, “I needed a good disguise.”

“...since when do you care about disguise and covert ops?” Nissa cocked a brow.

Chandra shrugged, “I figured you'd need me to go in undercover at some point. I kept it because it comforts me.”

Nissa smirked, “Just don't burn the suit.”

“I won't!” Chandra's reassurance was unconvincing. 

-

Chandra was already at the game store, still clad in her donkey fursuit. Her strategy of playing mono-Red had been steadily losing its lustre, but she was not discouraged. 

Nissa took a little while longer to get there. 

Chandra and Nissa warmly embraced each other. Then, Chandra took off the face part of the fursuit just to kiss Nissa as lovingly as one could imagine.

“How's the Sultai Food Deck going?” Chandra gazed at Nissa wryly. Nissa smelled like she came out of a high-end steakhouse.

“Shhh,” Nissa looked around, in case anybody heard them, “It's supposed to be a surprise.”

Chandra could not see the humour. Snorting, she then put on a nasally voiced impression of Nissa, “I play a Forest, tap it, and summon a Gilded Goose. After making a Food token, pass.”

Nissa frowned, “If you must know, I was planning on cutting the Blue out of it.”

Chandra gasped, “No! Anything but the Blue! It will be bad Feng Shui!”

“It's not like we'll be going up against a sentient themed snack or anything of the like-” Nissa began to lecture Chandra again, but in the corner of her eye she could see a cadre of humans moving a sentient elemental made out of cabbage, mayonnaise, calamari, and other foods. It was poetic.

“Second thought, I'm keeping the Deck intact. Also, I want seven Oreo Blizzards.” Nissa cracked her knuckles. Her metabolism was a bit of an anomaly, but the moment she made her request, Chandra took out a notepad and jotted it down. 

-

Chandra predictably went 0-2 in the first Round. Unable to care much, she left the game store and drove down to the Dairy Queen. 

Nissa wanted seven Oreo Blizzards. All Chandra was going to get was an ice cream cone. She would re-enact Shakespearean plays with it, before om-nom-noming it on impulse. Sometimes, people threw money at her to get her to stop spoiling Macbeth for the fiftieth time. 

The author didn't feel like padding the fiction with dialogue about the order today, but he would like to inform you everything went smoothly. The return trip was also fine, though Chandra nearly got T-boned by some kids in a trenchcoat who decided now would be the best time to hijack a bus. Everyone else on the bus clapped.

When she got back to the game store, Nissa was up against fifty Teferis. Chandra could hear the sound of a table being flipped, and Nissa beating up one of the Teferis.

“YOU DON'T.” Thud. “MESS.” Thud. “WITH TIME.” Thud. “MOTHERF-beep-”

A beeping noise could be heard. Chandra saw her hair was setting off the smoke alarms of the game store. The store clerk waved his hands, as if to drop off whatever it was she got for Nissa and leave.

“I SAID, YOU DON'T.” Punch. “MESS.” Bone-crack. “WITH TIME.”

Chandra motioned over to Nissa, set the seven Oreo Blizzards on a table adjacent to the one the Worldspeaker flipped, and quietly left.

Unfortunately, that little incident with the fifty Teferis was a blemish on Nissa's otherwise clean record for the night.

-

Chandra spent most of the remaining time of the night back at the house. She was about to turn on the Japanese Playstation, when she received a call on her cellphone, which was next to her bed.

“Y'ello?”

She could hear some baritone giggling from a vampire in the background, as Nissa tried to greet her, “Hey, babe. So, uh, tonight I'm going to get stoned with Sorin and Nahiri. House is all yours, just try not to commit serial arson.”

Chandra snorted, “Send me the juiciest pics you've got.”

Both Chandra and Nissa's ears echoed with laughter of the other. Nissa tried putting on a bit of a farce, “Well, obviously.”

“What do you want the house to smell like?” Chandra motioned herself towards the bedroom's closet. She was rifling through different packets of incense.

“I dunno, whatever you want it to smell like,” Nissa seemed to be indifferent. Chandra wondered if the part about “getting stoned” was happening right away. “Well, don't make it smell like a funeral. You've been doing that one incense for months when-”

Chandra coughed, as if to interrupt Nissa from blurting out too much information. As envious as she was that Nissa was going to have a bloody good time with Sorin and Nahiri, Chandra was not entirely comfortable also engaging in hilarious hijinks with them. There was a plethora of awkwardness she was still going through involving the death of Gideon and the treachery of Liliana, and a multitude of terrible books making this awkwardness public to people at her and Nissa's Friday Night Magic group had been largely embarassing. Chandra promised herself it would not get worse.

“Cool. I love you,” Chandra bade her farewells, which Nissa then reciprocated. She then hung up the phone. 

She turned her attention to an orange bandicoot who strode into the room, “Okay, Crash. Looks like it's just you and me.”

Crash gave the thumbs up, “Woah.”

Then, they played some Crash Team Racing. 

Fin.


End file.
